These are more like pastoral bloopers rather than bulletin
goofs…but they are just as funny.
And With You....
In our Anglican Church, each service begins with a greeting. The officiating clergyman says, "The Lord be with you." The congregation used to respond by saying, "And with thy spirit." But, with the modernizing of the liturgy, the minister now says, "The Lord be with you." and everyone responds with, "And also with you." One Sunday a visiting bishop went to a church where the sound system was known to be old and unreliable. As he approached the microphone, he tapped it several times and finally said, "There's something wrong with this!" Without hesitation the whole congregation answered faithfully, "And also with you."
---From Peter's Pearls at http://www.peterspearls.com.au
Pomp And What?
A few years ago our choir did a Christmas Cantata at our church. On the evening of our first performance we were all lined up outside the Sanctuary waiting to march in to the opening strains of the overture. Our Pastor wanted us to march in time with the music so his final instructions were as follows: " Everybody march in like you did at your high school graduation. You know, Pomp and Circumcision." We all broke out in a fit of laughter and it took several minutes to regain enough composure to march in.
On Pastor Appreciation Day one of our deacons was speaking for a few minutes about how he appreciated the pastor. He related that it was a tough job being a leader and explained that it was like a flock of migrating geese. The lead goose forming the point of the flying-V formation works the hardest because he was "breaking wind" for all the other geese! And all this time I thought the geese were just honking as they flew overhead! A few of us caught the blooper and chuckled, the rest looked bewildered or attempted to not show they caught the funny!
Our church would have a chicken dinner to raise money a couple of times a year. One Sunday there were beautiful flowers at the front of the church. I mentioned that they were given "in memory of Frank Wilson who came to our chicken dinner last week and went home and died." I did not mean to infer that he died from eating the chicken, but that's the way it came out.
Tongue Tied Pastor
I walked into the high school Sunday school class before it began one Sunday. One of the gals had just finished a starring role in her high school play the night before. As someone who tries to be a thespian myself, I wanted to congratulate her. "It's so good see a great lessbian, a lez.. , a lessspee, a ...." By this time my face was so red and everyone was laughing so hard I gave up and walked out.
A local pastor asked his sexton to post the title of his sermon on the signboard outside the church to read "Are Ministers Crazy?" Not hearing this as a question, the sexton posted, "Our Minister's Crazy" much to the amusement of the community.
--Ron Owens at The Funny Pharmacy
Weight Loss Hymn
We had just had a "Weighdown Workshop" and many people in our church lost weight. During announcement time we congratulated the participants and made a big deal out of their weight loss. It was about that time we all realized there had been a typo in the bulletin item just below it. Instead of listing "I Am Thine O Lord’’" the bulletin listed the next song as, "I Am Thin O Lord."
[These items come from Pulpit Bloopers, copyright 2002 by Sermon Fodder Ministries (www.sermonfodder.com) and were compiled from contributing members of the Sermon Fodder List. Please leave this attached if you forward to friends. If you'd like to join the Sermon Fodder drop an email note to: Sermon_Fodderfirstname.lastname@example.org.]
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